Dark Paradise
by shirlyq
Summary: After Gin died. Rangiku tried to commit suicide, but failed. Her captain has to watch her. He tries to comfort her as possible while she recovers from the trauma.
1. Chapter 1

It has been a week since Gin died. Yet it felt like it happened yesterday. Just lying there cold, and breathless. The blood on his chest just dripping down. His lifeless body just frozen. It still taunts me inside. I can still see his face. Every time I close my eyes. I don't know what to do. Or what I'm supposed to do. Every suicide take a lot of motive and strength. I knew, or I mean I felt like I had to this. Maybe, just maybe I could see him again. I felt a little crazy inside, but I knew this could work. I went into an empty room. I didn't think anybody would use it. There were no faint voices in the hallways, just me. I took a pretty tall, and sturdy chair. I placed it beneath the ceiling fan. I turned off the light and fan. Making the room dull and dead. With some sunlight coming from the blinds, but barely. I took my rope and started to make a loop around my neck. Next I took the other end of the rope, and tied it around the ceiling fan. Creating a strong knot. I took another look at the shady light. This was the last time. I kicked the chair to the other side of the room. Leaving me suffocated.

"_It'll all be over soon."_

I smiled when I said that. Suddenly I heard voices coming through the door. I didn't know what to do.

"Renji are you sure there are extra chairs here?" Rukia questioned.

"Yes I'm sure! "

They slowly opened the door. As they opened it. Rukia and Renji looked at me with shock and horror.

"Oh my God!" Rukia said.

"Shit! Matsumoto!" Renji screamed. He ran towards me, and took out his sword as quickly as he could to cut it.

Renji caught me with force. With me on the floor coughing heaily. We both looked at each other with shock.

"Rukia go, and get Unohana NOW!"

Rukia ran fast as she could down the hall. I could feel her heavy foot step vibrations.

"What.. What the fuck were you doing Matsumoto? Suicide is not an option.. For anybody at that matter."

I started to break down sobbing with my hands on my face. Everything just looked pitch black to me. I felt Renji's cold pity stare down at me. My body felt like it was fading to black. I nearly fainted. With tears rolling down to my neck. I could hear Unohana's soft voice mumbling. I couldn't understand what she was saying. I blacked out in a matter of seconds.


	2. Chapter 2

Toshiro's point of view

Matsumoto was at the Hospital when I found out what had happened. I was too shocked and horrified that I just stood there frozen. I did think something like that would happened. But at the same time she seemed okay. Not happy, but settle. To think she was sad and lonely really did hurt. I'm glad that Renji and Rukia found her in time. I felt so relieved, but not joyful. I don't think I could ever replace her with another lieutenant .She was the only one. I sat down next to her bed when Unohana came in the room.

"Unohana.. Do you think she's going to be alright?" I asked.

"We can only hope. But! I guaranteed she will be better in no time!" She said with an uneasy smile.

I looked at her face. She still looked beautiful to me. Even though her face had no life. I fixed her sheets before I left.I still felt shocked and worried sick. I tried to come up with reasons of why she would try to commit suicide. I remembered the sadness on her face when we came back from the human world. I was too happy that Aizen had been killed. That I guess I couldn't feel the feelings from her. I feel like the biggest jerk now. But then It hit me as if someone punch me as hard as they could. I was pretty damn sure this was the reason why she did that, It was because Gin! She must've been so sad about Gin. That she.. And.. Why am I so stupid sometimes?

"I'm such a fucking idiot!" I yelled. I forgot I was near people. They looked at me with confusion. "Sorry.." I said softly.

"_I know! I'll get her some flowers! A bunch so she can get better."_

I felt like an idiot thinking that. I was going crazy. I didn't care though. I ran through the streets like I was being chased by killers.

"Welcome to-"

"Miss! I need flowers! A whole bunch! Please!" I interrupted.

"Yes sir! What kind of flower were you loo-"

"Anything! Just a bunch of nice ones!" I said really fast. I just wanted to get back to the hospital already.

She handed me a bouquet of pick and white flowers, and a vase .I didn't know what they were, but I really didn't care. I finally arrived at her room. I filled the vase with water, and placed the flowers in. I set it on the table gently. I looked at her face one last time. I placed my hand on her cheeks. Caressing it softly. I left briefly. I closed the door softly.

"_You better get well soon. And get back to that lazy drunk self of yours again."_


	3. Chapter 3

Rangiku's point of view

The sun's light shined down on my eyes. I slowly opened my eyes. I shot straight up to see where I was. Renji must've taken me to the hospital. I felt ashamed and humiliated that Rukia and Renji found me doing _that_. I got up from the bed to open p the blinds. It was probably noon already. I rubbed my aching neck. I don't if I'm happy that I'm alive. _Was_ it selfish of me to do that? Causing people to worry sick? I wonder what my captain is thinking. He's probably very disappointed in me. Or thinks I'm the biggest idiot in this world. I don't want him to see me like this. I heard a few foot steps coming near the door. It was Unohana.

"Unohana-San…"

"How are you Rangiku-San?"

"I..I'm feeling better, thank you." I said smiling.

She looked at me sweetly. Not with pity, but just a sweet smile.

"Your captain sent you flowers. He seemed really worried about you. I told him you were going to alright though."

"Flowers?…." I said. I looked at the table, and saw a big vase with beautiful flowers. There were vivid pink and white flowers. To think he actually cared about me was surprising. Maybe he wasn't disappointed in me.

"Aren't they just gorgeous?" Unohana asked.

"They're very gorgeous."

"If you feel better you can leave the hospital."

"Really? I feel a lot better. Thank you for taking care of me."

"It wasn't a problem Rangiku-San," She said. "But I do have to run some test on you, okay?"

"Yes ma'am."

As she was checking my temperature. I couldn't stop thinking about my captain. I've always thought he was cold and not very caring. I guess he _has_ a caring side of him.


	4. Chapter 4

Toshiro's point of view

I finally finished all the paper work. Matsumoto's and my share. Even though I was tired as fuck, I couldn't stop worrying about her. I wish she could be at my office. I wouldn't care if she was just dozing off. I just want her here, safe and sound.

"_Maybe I should visit her.."_

I was afraid to see her. I didn't why, but I felt as if she hated me. I could almost feel how she feels right now, _broken_ and _lost. _If she never came to me for her problems, then she must think I'm some cold bastard right? Like I didn't give a shit about her problems. No, that's not what I want her to think of me. Because I do care so much about her. That it hurts inside sometimes. I dashed to exit my office. I _needed_ to see her. I ran as a fast as I could to the hospital. I bumped into many people, but I didn't care. Finally I reached to the hospital. I ran to her room in full speed.

"Sir! Please walk!" A nurse yelled out.

I really didn't care. I only had Matsumoto on my mind. I arrived at her room. My heart felt as if it was beating 500 mph. My hand was trembling as I placed it on the door knob. Slowly opening it, inch by inch. When I entered the room she wasn't in there. I walked up to the bed throwing the sheet on the floor. Unohana came in the room startled as she saw me.

"Where is she?" I asked.

"She checked out this morning.." She said." Toshiro- san..I need you to do one thing for me. If that is okay with you."

"What is it?"

"Well as you heard.. Matsumoto-san tried to kill herself-"

"I know.."

She took a deep breath and continued." I need you to watch her for me. In this state she's in.. She is not stable, and I'm afraid that she'll do it again. I know that grieving for your loved ones can be hard.. So please.. Will you?"

" Don't worry.. I will watch her and make sure she's okay. Alright?" I said with a big smile.

"Thank you Toshiro-san"

As I left the room I felt really hopeful. But I really did imagine her just sitting on the bed. Smiling at me as I would walk into the room. Maybe run up to me and hug tightly. Somewhere in the back of my mind I felt like she was okay now. Not totally recovered, but okay. I went back to the office to finish the huge stack of paper I left on my desk. By the time I finished all of it. It was pretty dark out. The sky gleamed with dark, rich purple. I had this weird idea. I don't know why but I felt as if she was at the bar drinking sake. I ran once more to the bar. Let me tell you this. If you blindfolded me and told me to go to the bar. I would still know where, and how to go there. I would always find her there drinking sake. With a stack of unfinished paper by her side. I kind of missed those days. Anyways I made it to the bar. I couldn't believe my eyes. She was just sitting there with a cup of sake in her hands. I walked up to her. When she looked at me. Her face looked sort of pale and frightened, but so did mine.

"Captain.." She said in a soft, scared tone.

"Are.. Are you okay?" I said with my face facing the ground.

"I'm fine. Captain.. Oh God, I'm sorry. I…I don't know what to do anymore... "She said with a nervous laugh. She started to cry

"Idiot.. Don't be sorry. Come on let's go." I said while grabbing her hand.

I led her to my room. I had to drag her though. I didn't want to talk about it. We arrived back at the office. I couldn't really see out. But I could still her faint .She still had that sad expression on her face. I got a large futon out of the closet. And placed it on the floor.

"Captain.. Am I sleeping here tonight?"

"Of course you are! Do you think I'm crazy enough to leave you alone in your room?"

"No.."

"Alright then, let get to bed. I'm exhausted!"

"Captain.. I'm sorry for troubling you like this.."

"Shush it. It was not a problem.. Trust me, okay?"

"But.."

"I said shush it."

We both slipped into the sheets. Her back was towards me. I still wanted to know how she felt right now. I tried not worry too much. Even though I was. I passed out soon afterwards. I woke up in the middle of the night to hear her crying.

"Matsumoto?.."

She didn't answers me, but she did turn facing me. She buried her face on my chest. Crying, but softly. I wrapped my arm around her. Our bodies pressed against each other. We didn't say a word, and we didn't need to. She stopped crying, but I still felt her tears on my chest. She fell asleep just like that. There wasn't much I could do, except hold her. I felt as if that was she needed, and what I needed. I couldn't really sleep, but I managed.

"_You must feel really lonely, huh?"_

I held her tightly against her body. We stayed like that through the whole night. The room was silent. There was no sound except her breathing. Even though there was barely any light. I thought she still looked beautiful to me….


	5. Chapter 5

Rangiku's point of view

I woke up tiredly. Last night was seemed like a blur. I can't believe I cried in front of my captain like that. I feel so embarrassed and pathetic. But the way he wrapped his arm around me tightly was.. Very nice..heh. I looked over to his side. He wasn't there but I could smell his scent. I've always saw him as a cold person. But I guess he's a kind person after all. That's what I've always like about him….


End file.
